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Overall, however, the variation in payoff for different strategies is fairly small, suggesting that, all else being equal, effort put into writing longer or more positive messages may be wasted. The results presented here provide a picture of the aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating and its implications for the likelihood of success. We present a network measure of desirability in dating that is based on mate-seeking behavior rather than subjective personal qualities such as attractiveness.
We find that, while some mate seekers do pursue partners of similar average desirability to themselves, the vast majority of the online dating population we study tend to reach up the hierarchy toward more desirable partners.