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Still, I was skeptical. At first, I scoured each profile and crafted individualized messages. About eight dates in, I got my groove and began to send more messages with fewer words.
I started dating up a storm, sometimes two a night back to back. The guys were entertaining, the restaurants nice, the conversations fun, but disappointingly there were no real sparks. None turned out to be the optimistic, self-assured traveller I was looking for. My approach needed a change. Instead of a restaurant, perhaps an activity would give me more insight into his personality and possible shared interests.
So my next date unfolded at a photography shoot for a band. He took photos with a passion that was endearing. Photography, which we both enjoyed, was also a good focus for our conversation.
Sharing the same sense of humour, we laughed and talked into the wee hours of the night. Parting, we set up a second date for the coming weekend. On Saturday at my place, two coffees were steaming on the table as soft music played in the background. According to my research, the second date was when you delved into your potential partner's past to suss out any family skeletons or Ponzi scheming.
I wanted to be in comfortable surroundings in case of an unpleasant secret. In this intimate setting, we each shared our biggest life challenge. His was an unfinalized divorce, mine a new career path but no actual job. Mulling it over, we concluded our baggage was manageable in the bigger scheme. After all, dating in your 40s is not a fairy tale.
But was the chemistry from the first night still there? Butterflies in my stomach, I nodded ecstatically. It was a supreme Bridget Jones moment, and revealed that some aspects of dating remain the same at any age. This was a guy worth pursuing. It was at times exhilarating, at times overwhelming, at times disheartening, but I wouldn't change a thing.
Opening up to new methods of dating, while remaining true to myself about the type of guy I wanted to meet, was part of the experience. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff. Non-subscribers can read and sort comments but will not be able to engage with them in any way.
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Open this photo in gallery: Contributed to The Globe and Mail. Published May 4, Updated May 1, Story continues below advertisement. Follow us on Twitter globeandmail Opens in a new window. Log in Subscribe to comment Why do I need to subscribe? Overall, their success came because for one, they were both serious about finding a suitable partner.
Both Vesna and Tim set their age ranges on their dating preferences within years of their own age. Vesna and Tim worked out tremendously since they were realistic in their expectations and were seeking someone who had similar life experience to them, who would understand the aging process and health issues, and of course, were more skilled in bed.
Men and women can become tired of chasing the next young hot thing to keep up with and have to suck in their belly all day. When trying to find a partner online mature singles need to be realistic about expectations regarding age, appearance and physique.
In regards to age ranges on dating sites, we discussed that often times we see older men with much younger women, but does this create a disadvantage for older women? If older men like much younger women then that is who they will always go for. Truthfully it takes some of the load off for older women since this wont leave older or same age women fighting for the mans attention.
Before, the cougar trend was basically unheard of and Valerie thinks the once male dominated field of medicine is to blame. There was a recurring myth that once a woman hit a certain age, she no longer had any sexual desire. But Valerie, as well as Tim and Vesna say that is absolutely not true! Many have thought that after a woman goes through menopause she no longer has sexual desire, but this is also untrue. Some women in fact can have even higher levels of energy and sex drive.
This led us to wonder, if this is true, why are older women dating younger men so stigmatized? Because a woman in charge of her sexual life, outside of reproductive needs, is a threat. However, to younger men, these older women are very endearing. Valerie has had her fair share of experience dating younger men, and was even married to one who was 14 years younger than her.
She said that older women present themselves as a challenge. This is awesome to men, and a younger, energy—filled stud is perfect for an older vital woman. Finding love as a mature single is more difficult, but not impossible. Just like there was for Vesna and Tim and even Valerie herself.
Love and Dating for Mature Singles.